| Post-natal
depression: Women may lash out
FINANCE manager Joyce Tan Lee Mei had a baby girl last October,
but she will be in jail for the child's first birthday.
|
| Happy now, but
Mrs Russell, a former paediatric nurse, suffered from low
self-esteem and deep depression after the birth of her two
sons. She felt especially alone as her husband Brad, a
property developer and marketer, was often away on business.
-- HOW HWEE YOUNG |
She was sentenced to six months behind bars on Aug 13 after
hitting her 25-year-old Indonesian maid with a belt and a bamboo
pole.
Tan, 43, is one of five women who have appeared in court over the
past two years for abusing their maids while suffering from
post-natal depression.
The court accepted Tan's condition as a mitigating
factor.
'The surrounding circumstances and objective facts are consistent
with Joyce Tan's plea in mitigation that her assaults on Purnari
were out-of-character and were contributed to by her altered mental
state caused by her post-natal condition and her family problems,'
said magistrate Chong Kah Wei.
Her lawyer Subhas Anandan believes the sentence was a fair one,
particularly in the light of the public outcry over the recent Ng
Hua Chye case, the freelance tour-guide whose maid died at his
hands.
Ng, also represented by Mr Anandan, was sentenced to 18 years and
six months in jail for what has been described as the worst case of
maid abuse here. The 19-year-old Indonesian maid died ultimately
from a ruptured stomach, but had 200 other injuries, inflicted over
nine months.
'Circumstances are different now because of that case,' Mr
Anandan said.
'I think you can expect higher sentences from the courts than
before. If not for the post-natal depression, I think my client
would have received a higher sentence.'
But other lawyers are not so happy with the sentences handed out
to their clients.
'I don't think they are giving due weight to the psychiatrist's
report at all,' said Mr Chia Ti Lik, whose client Tan Kim Boey, 35,
was jailed for three months for poking and pinching her 22-year-old
Indonesian maid.
He feels a one-month jail term would have been fair.
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She cried every day after her
first child's birth |
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THE dark days of post-natal
depression followed the births of both of Mrs Luise Russell's
children.
The first time, it lasted two years; the
second time, 10 months.
Mrs Russell, 33, said she cried
every day after her first son was born. She also felt alone
because her husband Brad, a property developer and marketer,
was often away on business.
A former paediatric nurse,
she had exercised regularly and was doing a masters degree in
public health before the birth of her first child, Luke.
Afterwards, she suffered from low self-esteem and could not
find the motivation to do anything besides read trashy
magazines.
She struggled on without anti-depressants
until she got better naturally.
When her second child,
James, was born, she felt okay initially, but then her bad
days began to outnumber the good ones.
She recalls
feeling agitated and occasionally becoming angry with her
older son and her maid. She then opted to give up
breastfeeding and go on anti-depressants.
She took them
until one day, when she ran out of the medication. But her
depression did not return, so she knew that she had been
cured.
After about five years leaving here, the family
will be returning to Australia soon. |
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Post-natal depression affects 15 per cent of new mothers and can
last more than two years if left untreated. Most sufferers do not
seek help because of the social stigma attached to seeing a
psychiatrist.
But psychiatrists say that it is rare for sufferers to lash out
at someone. Tearful, passive and forgetful, most lack confidence and
cannot motivate themselves to do even simple things such as getting
dressed or going shopping. They can feel desperate, worthless,
hopeless and often suicidal.
Says former sufferer Luise Russell, 33: 'I thought about getting
hit by a car so everyone would be free of me.'
Any anger is usually directed at themselves because they feel
useless as a mother.
Sometimes it can be directed at their child.
Said Dr Pauline Sim, a consultant psychiatrist in private
practice: 'I had one mother who held her baby's head briefly under
water.
'Then she realised what she was doing and stopped. Afterwards,
she decided to seek help.'
Sometimes, a depressed mother will think her children are better
off dead and will try to kill them.
Dr Sim recalls one Singapore mother who brought her three young
children and her baby to a shopping centre, saying: 'Let's go and
meet Jesus'.
On the ninth floor, the children became frightened and said:
'Mummy, can we meet Jesus another day?'
Thankfully, the mother took them down again, said Dr Sim. But two
weeks later, she threw herself off a block of flats and
died.
Despite the tendency for most to turn their anger inwards,
certain perfectionist personalities might hit out at their maids,
said Dr Sim.
'They think logically and expect the maid to use her common
sense.'
When this does not happen, they might strike out at the source of
their frustration.
The maid's mistake might be the straw that breaks the camel's
back for someone who is tired, depressed and stressed for multiple
reasons, said Dr Adrian Wang, a consultant psychiatrist at the
Institute of Mental Health.
Joyce Tan was stressed at work because of the recession, said Mr
Anandan. She was pregnant while in her 40s and was wondering whether
her 12-year-old daughter from her first marriage would accept the
new baby from her second one. Then, she suffered hormonal changes
because of the pregnancy.
'A lot of things were happening at once,' he
said.
Psychiatrists say post-natal depression can be sparked by a
number of factors, such as exhaustion, marital difficulties and poor
family support.
Dr Sim has seen post-natal depression cases triggered by the
husband leaving his wife for another woman while she is still in the
maternity ward.
But, said Dr Wang: 'Women with post-natal depression still know
right from wrong.
'So, it is no excuse for hitting your maid.'
A support group for mothers suffering from post-natal
depression meets fortnightly at the Mother & Child Centre at
Tanglin Mall. To join, contact the centre on 6836-0063, or Mrs Lara
Bodsworth on 6463-7343. There is no fee.
August 2002
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